Just Hana.

I am not so sure how long is this post going to be but let me share one story. A story that I will not dare to tell to anybody. A story that will make you as a reader wonder the person who is writing this post is crazy or simply just someone who understands herself completely. This post is going to be about myself, a girl named Hana. This is exactly where I am going to describe Hana a.k.a me in my own perspective.

          I am always the person who would not tell a private matter to anyone. I do not always care when someone asks me when am I going on a date or is there someone that I like that I am staying single and not give any chance to those boys who have made an attempt to approach me? Why am I always going everywhere alone without a guy to accompany me? Why am I always spending most of time going out with my friends? Well, that is just me. I prefer to be single without letting anyone to control my life. Some boys who I have met told me that I looked too bold and that made them hesitate to actually approach me. They thought that I might end up being a drag queen or someone who would toy with their feelings. Obviously, they are wrong. I am never like that. How could I toy with someone’s feelings? In fact, I would not want to hurt anyone. Probably because I do not want to get hurt. So how can I hurt someone? Honestly, having a boyfriend is never my priority. At least for now.

          If someone were to ask me to describe myself, I would say that I am unpredictable. I can be really nice and be a mean person in an instant. It all depends on one’s attitude towards me. I am the type of person who has a complete control of myself but no, I am no perfectionist. I make mistakes. A lot. Maybe a lot more than I could remember. I am that type of person who hates being late and always be punctual and the thought of seeing someone who comes late to a meeting annoys me so much to the point of ruining my day. I never really think of myself as someone who is ‘not normal’ but then again, define normal. What does it mean with being normal? Does being late all the time is considered as normal? If that is the case then I would not want to be a normal person.

          I found out that I am actually a bad liar. I cannot lie when someone tells me to. I am just really bad at lying. I recall that one time where I lied to my mother and she caught me instantly. I tried again a few times lying to my mother and she caught me all over again. I was curious and asked my mother. “How did you know that I lie to you? She smiled and answered my question. “It is really easy to detect whether you are lying or not. You might be looking at me directly into my eyes but you won’t stop blinking your eyes. How can you lie with your pale looking face and stuttering voice?” Oh. So that is how I look like when I am lying. So not convenient. That is why I always keep my mouth shut whenever someone asks me something that I already know. I need to avoid the tension because I do not want to get myself involved into a mess.

          Somehow, I am definitely good at voicing out my opinions. There is nothing wrong to tell people about your opinion but you should not be too cocky where you cannot even listen to others’ opinions or plans. That would make you look to demanding and bossy. If I disagree with someone’s opinion, I would voice out my thought regarding their opinion. But that does not mean that I am rude. I do not have to be rude just because I disagree with one’s opinion. I do not get it how certain people cannot even accept others opinion and simply deny every single thing. I would usually give people chance to explain why they think that certain way and if the explanation is logical, then I would not have a problem into accepting their opinion. If it is not, either I give a different opinion or do rebuttals on the opinions that have been shared. Let’s agree to disagree! I judge people a lot but it does not mean I would tell them what I think of them. I would usually just keep it to myself unless being asked by that individual. I believe that I do not have to tell everything because what I said might get to me again someday.

          I may not be good at lying but I certainly can hide my feelings from others. Especially when I am sad. I really hate when people sympathize with me because I feel as if they are just doing that to make me feel better. I even hate the thought of people sympathizing me. I do not need it. I always find different alternatives to ease my unwanted feelings by driving alone or going somewhere alone. I need to erase my anger or sadness so that I could move on from it. If there is one thing that I am afraid is when I let my anger out to someone else who is completely not aware with my action. No way in hell would I want to do that to someone and if I did, I am truly sorry. I did not mean it in any way.

          I think I am really good at doing my own things. I rarely need help in doing things unless I do not understand the instruction. I will reach out to someone for help so that they can help me in understanding what should I do. I actually prefer working alone instead of working in a group. It is not that I cannot work with people; it is just that I find it a whole lot easier to work on my own because I can do things as I please. If the work turns out not to be so good,, then I would blame myself since I did it on my own. I would put the blame on myself and I would fix it. That might also be the reason why I am always alone when I go somewhere. I only have one intention and once I am done with it I will go straight back to home. I hate wasting my time on things that I do not like.

Well that is the only thing that I want to say about myself. I might tell you more but that is it for now. Ciao!  

My Skincare Routines

J

It’s finally the time for me to post another beauty-ish post since I haven’t done one for like… a year! Some of you who are close to me probably know that for the past few months, I am having skin problems where I have extreme breakouts and I don’t really know what is the cause for it to happen. It might be because of I’m using wrong products or even due to my hormones. I’m not quite sure which one is the cause for my breakouts. That’s probably the reason why I haven’t tried new makeup products because I’m afraid that wearing new different products would make my breakout even worse than it already is.

I don’t even know where to start. I used to have a flawless skin but then I started having breakout when I was in upper sixth form. It only started with mild acne where my face felt like as if there was sand on it due to certain product (unfortunately, I don’t remember what it’s called but one thing for sure it was  a local product) that contained too much chemical in it. I thought it would suit me since it was a non-comedogenic product but damn I was wrong. It actually ended up causing me to have a severe acne problem. L

Since I wasn’t used to having pimples on my face, I kept touching and squeezing the pimples to the point where my action caused me to have acne scars and eventually I ended up getting more acne especially on my cheeks area. That is when I made a big mistake and caused me to have major breakouts. You won’t be able to even imagine how it feels like from having a flawless skin to acne-problem skin. This is all because of that one product which I regret trying. Day by day, I realized that my skin was getting worse since pimples kept on popping up here and there and I always had a mental breakdown whenever I meet my friends because they kept on asking me why is my skin getting worse and stuffs. I was too scared to try new skincare products and I always cover my skin problem with makeup since my skin gets really red and the acne scars are really hard to be covered. At least it looks even better when I covered them with foundation and concealer. Well, at least that’s what I thought. J

Fortunately, for the past five months I’ve been doing a skincare routine which I think works the best for me as my skin is getting better since I started doing this routine. I would like to clarify something before you start asking.. HOW GOOD IS YOUR SKIN NOW? IS IT FLAWLESS? YOU DON’T HAVE ANY REDNESS ON YOUR FACE ANY LONGER? DO YOU HAVE ANY ACNE SCARS ON YOUR FACE? Okay guys, like I said before, my skin is getting better compared to last year but it is still not in the best condition as  it was back in the days when I was still in lower sixth form. It’s just that my skin is getting better as I no longer need to squeeze and touch my face constantly. My acne scars are also fading away and I couldn’t be happier with my skin condition although it is not as good as it used to be but you know, I’m thankful enough with what I have.

This post is going to be about my morning and nighttime skincare routines so if you’re interested in what products that I use for my routine then keep reading this. Oh, I have an oily to combination skin which means my skin is very sensitive so I have to be careful with what kind of products that I want to use for my face.

MORNING SKINCARE ROUTINE

First thing first, cleanse. No matter what happens I need to always wash my face in the morning. Sometimes when I don’t have giant pimples on my face I would just splash my face with water but most of the time I would wash my face with this Pore Cleansing Foam face wash that I got from The Face Shop. It really cleans my face really well and I love how it also cleans deep to my pores.

Once I’m done cleaning my face, I would use a toner. The toner that I’m using is the Pore Toner from The Face Shop. Yes, it is quite pricey but it works wonders on my face. This toner is good to make your pores smaller and I just love this so much! <3

Then, I would moisturize my face since I’ve heard whether you have oily or dry skin, you need to moisturize your face. The moisturizer that I use is the Clean&Clear moisturizer. I love this moisturizer because it is very light and I always avoid using a heavy-formula moisturizer as it easily clogs my pores so this moisturizer is a good to go for me.

Last but not least, a sunblock. Sunblock is vital for my skin as it burns easily and my skin gets super red when I get exposed to the sun without any protection. I’m using the Daily Sunscreen Face & Body Lotion from Aiken. It has a non-greasy formula and contains SPF 30 PA++ in it. It is also a water based product so it will be easy for me to apply it on my face.The good thing about this sunblock is it can be used for your face and body too! How cool is that? Before I go out of my house, I never forget to apply sunblock as I know if my skin gets burned then those pimples will pop out like crazy all over my face again. This is the last step in my morning skincare routine before I apply my makeup. J

NIGHT TIME SKINCARE ROUTINE

Now, lets move on to my nighttime skincare routine. When I get back home, taking all the makeup off will be my first priority. I will use my Bioré Cleansing Oil to get rid of my makeup (I had mentioned this in my previous post on Cheap Make Remover) and then proceeds with the cleansing foam that I have mentioned earlier which is the Pore Cleansing Foam from The Face Shop.

Then, I would scrub my face. I only scrub my face twice in a week because too much scrubbing will cause me a breakout again so I wouldn’t want that to happen. I’m using the Clear Face Gentle Scrub for oily skin and impurities from Sebamed. This can be used daily but I only use it twice in a week depending on how much I want to exfoliate my face.

After that, I would apply a toner on my face and yes I am using the same toner that I use in the morning which is Pore Toner from The Face Shop.

After I’m done using the toner, I would apply Vitamin E Scar Serum from Palmer’s to my severed acne scars areas which are on my cheeks. I only apply this on my cheeks because I don’t want to spend too much of this product on my face since it is quite expensive for me. The formula for this serum is quite thick as it contains cocoa butter so you have to massage in the product to make sure that your skin absorbs the product completely.

Next step is, face mask. I only do this on Sunday which means only once a week. I use the Natto Rice Radiant Face Mask from Dr.Morita because it is very hydrating and also improves my skin complexion.

Once the serum gets absorbed into the skin, I will proceed with applying Skin Therapy Oil from Palmer’s. This oil is an advanced, multi-purpose skin perfection product which is good for scars, stretch marks, dry & damaged skin, uneven skin tone and aging skin. So I only  use one pump of this every single night after I’m done applying my serum. I use this oil all over my face and neck and since it is an oil-based product, I have to be sure that it absorbs completely into my skin and not just stay on top of my skin as it can clog my pores.

As you may know, I still have pimples on my face so I usually apply acne pimple medication from OXY10 on the pimples to sooth my acne. The reason why it is called as oxy10 is probably because it contains 10% of Benzoyl peroxide which is known to kill acne bacteria. I’ve tried the OXY5 before but it didn’t work for me but this one works the best for me as I can see the result the very next day after I apply it.

Last but not least, I would apply lip balm on my lips. I am a fan of wearing my lip tint and as you may already know, wearing lip tint will get your lips to be super dry and I always get chapped lips at the end of the day. So I always apply a layer of Lip Treat Lite Lip Balm from IN2IT. This IN2IT Lip Treat Lite Lip Balm contains SPF15 PA++ with DPHP.

And that’s the end of my skincare routines. Thank you for reading. J

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Lets have a chit chat at 10pm.

Hello everyone! It's me, Hana! For today's post I feel like I want to talk about something but somehow I don't really know what to talk about so I'm just going to continue to type and let us see what's the end product going to be. 

I'm currently listening to The Climb by Miley Cyrus. This has been one of my old time favourite songs from Miley Cyrus because it's too inspiring. I remember that one time when I was in high school, I listened to this song on repeat on my phone as if I didn't have any other songs. It was popular back then and everyone was like listening to this song as it kept being played on every local radio station. Old time is good time!

It's currently 10:09pm and I feel so lonely since my housemates went back to their hometown. I mean like seriously I feel so lonely but I have decided to stay at college since I know I wouldn't be studying if I went back home. That's the consequence that I have to deal with. Even worse, my room is as dark as the shirt that I'm wearing right now because the lamp inside my room was broken at exactly 2:09am today. Yes I know it sucks! I made a complain and I thought the maintainance  guys would fix it but unfortunately they didn't. *sigh

However, I have the center lamp which somehow provides some light to my room so I won't be in the dark! Like extreme dark! Oh what am I trying to convey? But then again, I'm staying alone for the next few days and it's creeping me out when I don't see the presence of light in my room. LOL

Oh my gosh, the people who are staying upstairs ( or is it downstairs? I'm not quite sure myself) are making too  much noise constantly and it's  annoying as I'm writing things here. Hmm, just as I thought they were done laughing and there they go. They started laughing again. Oh my bloody gosh! Now they are screaming!!! It's confirmed. This constant noise comes from people who are staying in the house above me. HUH!!!

I'm looking outside of my house right now and I can see a lady sitting alone at the foyer. I have no clue what she's doing there but whatever I just want to let you guys know that since like what I have stated earlier I want to write whatever I want to write.

So basically, anything that crosses my mind right now will be written here ahahah life isn't so well. Ooops, they are making weird sounds again oh what's with the claps.

My laptop battery is draining but I don't feel like I want to stop just yet so I'm just going to type until I get bored so bare with me guys. If you want to stop reading then please do so because I honestly have no idea what to write about and when am I going to stop. 

It's 10:21pm right now and I am still sitting in my living room, ALONE! Yes, I just feel like I want to emphasize that. LOL, it's supposed to be a study week where I am supposed to start doing my revision but worry not peeps, I haven't started reading even though I had printed the notes yesterday.

Learning language especially English isn't easy guys. I think it's really hard since I am not a native speaker and I don't speak English with people that much. I honestly think that I need to start interacting with my coursemates in English since they are the people that I can talk with. Some local people have messed up mentality where there think that people who talk in English are trying to act smart and ignorant. I wonder why but who am I to judge. That might be true. Oh what's the connection between learning English and the previous paragraph. I don't even know.

I feel like I need to stop now. See? I'm not sure whether someone will read this or not but if you're reading this post then I would like to say.... THANKS FOR READING IT!!! 

Alright, that's it guys. Smell you around on another blog post. 

Bye for now. :)

Life in University.

Hello lovelies! It's been a while since the last time I posted something here. First of all, I would like to apologize for not posting frequently because I got so caught up with my university life. Yes guys!!! I'm a university student now! What a surprise!

I'm currently in semester 2 right now and next month I will be having my final examination and I really hope that I will do my best so that I can get a dean list again! Fingers crossed.

Most of you might be wondering, what do I actually do when I'm in the university. Guess what? That is exactly what I'm going to talk about today!

I got into university last year, September 2^nd , 2015. At first I felt reluctant to leave my hometown and be away for a long time from my family. I actually was not ready to go since I knew the place that I was going to go is totally different than the place where I used to live in. And yes, it was totally different but that is a good thing since I need some new experiences. Studying here in one of the local universities, I have realized that people can be friends even if they do not have the same background as you. You just need a little understanding of each other in order to find someone that you can be friends with.

I would like to show you guys how my bed looks like when I was staying in college during semester 1.

Also, if you’re in the university, group assignment is something that you can never avoid. Let me tell you my experience when I was having a group assignment. There will always be that one person in your group assignment who thinks that s/he does a lot of works in the group but s/he is actually the parasite in the group who does nothing but nagging like a cranky old man. When you’re having a group assignment, it is vital to take part in the work and you have to attend every single discussion so that you won’t miss any information or work about your assignment. Don’t ever think that just because it is just a discussion, it gives you the right to not attend it simply because you have something else to do. Listen, your assignment is your first priority when you’re in university. If you think or feel that you don’t contribute too much in your group assignment, ask your group members if there is anything that you can help with. Don’t simply keep your mouth shut and do nothing. Sometimes, your group members might don’t want to offend your feelings so you have to take an action by asking them what you can do for your group assignments. Why? They might be all smiles in front of you but as soon as you leave, they will talk about how irresponsible you are!

Find friends who understand you the most. Friends can help you during ups and downs. You don’t have to worry that you might be lonely because friends will accompany and they will be the ones who you can trust with your secrets. Not to mention that they will also be good partners in crimes when dealing with haters or gossiping.

Other than that, being a university student lets you to explore the different side of the world. I usually enjoy walking alone to town because I love to experience new things, things that are completely different than where I came from. Sometimes, I go to the library to read books but this only happens like… once in a lifetime! Ahahah 
I usually refer to Mr.Google whenever I need informations instead of heading to the library. Why? Because it is time consuming and I’m too lazy to queue up when borrowing books from the library. Even worse, if you’re late when returning the books, you will be fined by the librarians! Of course, that is your fault for returning them late.

All in all, I honestly have to admit that I love my university life, despite not being able to come home frequently since it requires me to fly for more than two hours to reach my hometown. I can’t wait for fasting month, final examination and then celebrate Eid Day with my family!

Thank you so much for reading because I really appreciate it!

UPSI TESL INTERVIEW

Hello my readers!! Today’s entry is all about my UPSI TESL Interview. I would like to share with you my experience for this interview because when I found out that I had to be interviewed, I didn’t know anything like what should I do, what should I wear, what kind of questions are the interviewer going to ask me and etc… There were so many things lingering in mind and I couldn’t figure them out by myself. I was so clueless and I knew that I need some help. I asked help from my MUET teacher on the test and she told me that there will be a Writing Test, Oral Test and then there will be a group interview.

On 10^th June 2015,  a friend of mine told me to check the website whether I got the offer for the upsi interview or not but I was so busy that I didn’t have time to check it myself. None of my friends who applied for the TESL course got the interview offer so I thought that I didn’t get it too. Later that night, I just felt that I should at least check it out and so I did, and I was happy that I got the offer!! I whatsapped my friends and they congratulated me on that and some of them were pissed off because they didn’t get the offer and kept asking me how did I answer my Medsi test. LOL. Fortunately, they got the UMS TESL interview and it turns out, I got it too. I was in dilemma. Should I go for UPSI or UMS? I thought about it a lot and finally decided that I would go for UPSI since I freaking love that University and it would be amazing if I passed the interview!! On June 15^th, I had to take a flight alone to Kuching ( my first time travelling alone with no one besides me >.<)  and I stayed at my uncle’s house.

The next day, June 16^th was my interview day. I had to go to UNIMAS ( where the interview was held) with a motorcycle, since my uncle doesn’t have a car and it took me almost an hour to reach UNIMAS. *fuhh that was a long journey.. I arrived at 7:40a.m and the interview started at 8:30am. I was just sitting alone and then there was this Chinese girl ( sorry, I didn’t get a chance to ask for her name), who was sitting beside me, She started asking me about the interview and surprisingly, we got the same course yeay! We talked about the interview and I told her since it’s TESL I think the interviewers would talk to us in English. I also told her that I didn’t really prepare anything for the interview and same thing goes to her. LOL I guess we’re doomed! I met my ex-classmate, Shikin, who applied for the art course so we just talked and wished each other good luck.

At 8:30am, the interviewers started to tell the interviewees to go to the test rooms and I went to the TESL test room *duh, of course.. The writing test was quite hard since I haven’t wrote anything in English for the past two months since I graduated from high school but I was grateful enough that I managed to get the test done earlier so that I could get interviewed earlier than the rest. I was sixth interviewee to be interviewed and I was told to go the next room for the Oral Test. When I knocked the door and opened it, there was a lady, I think she’s a lecturer. She welcomed me with a warm smile and told me to sit on the chair and so I sat there, in front of her, and..the oral test started.

She asked me to introduce myself and so I did what I was asked for. She looked at my files and gave a few compliments and then she was surprised as she looked at the recommendation letter that I got from my high school ( a friend of mine told me that a recommendation letter from school is essential to strengthen your testimonial). The interviewer also asked me some questions that had to do with TESL and these are the questions that were asked by the interviewer.

1. Could you please tell me why did you pick TESL and why did you choose UPSI?

2. Do you love English?

3. What would you do if you passed this interview?

4. Do you have any other option other than TESL?

5. Please promote yourself and convince me on how much you like this course.

            Sorry guys, I couldn’t recall all of them but these are the important ones. Since you’re applying for TESL, of course, the oral test  will be in full English. During the interview, I didn’t talk in Malay at all since she greeted me in English. LOL. My interview lasted for about 15 minutes since I talked a lot about myself ( feel free to boast about yourself  because you’re allowed to do so) . I guess I was so nervous that I ended up talking for quiet a long time I think it was about 15 minutes. Some interviewees only talked for about 10 minutes or less. After all the interviewees were done being interviewed personally, we were told to take a break until 2:30 pm.

            Shikin, my friend and I went to the café and we only ordered a Special Tea C because we were so thirsty and exhausted.

            At 2:30pm, everyone was getting ready for the group interview and each group has 3 interviewees. (p/s they picked the interviwees randomly, okay) When we got into the room, we were told to put our files on the interviewer’s table and he started looking at our files.Then he told us to start talking to each other. We started talking to each other, introducing ourselves, talking about the current education issues and etc. The fun thing about this group interview is that we were allowed to speak in Malay since one of us wasn’t taking TESL. The interviewer asked us some tricky questions for example:

1.          Kenapa nak jadi cikgu? ( Why do you want to be teacher)

2.           Mengapa guru Sabah dan Sarawak perlu diberi lebih peluang untuk mengajar?

The rest were just some random questions and we were also asked to show our talent. I just started singing Gravity by Sara Bareilles and the other two interviewers and interviewees looked at me awkwardly  as if that they wanted to laugh LOL It was so embarrassing but at the same time it was fun since you need to show off your confidence in order to be a teacher. The interviewer told us whether we have a question to ask him or not and we just started asking things about PTPTN, when’s the result going to come out and etc.. Basically we asked random questions. ahaha We took our files back and said goodbye and then got out of the room. Fuhh, finally. I’m done with the interview and thank god I didn’t have a nervous breakdown during the interview. I went back home to my uncle’s house at 4:30pm because I had to pack things to go back to Bintulu the next day.

I really hope that this post will help you in preparing yourself for the TESL interview. That's probably the reason why I'm sharing this with all of you.



P/S: I'm trying my best to write in English because it's one of the subjects that I like. Sorry for grammatical errors. Like I said earlier, I'm still learning. 


Thank you for reading and good luck for your interview!!